Cover art by Stephanie Westerik
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Dave is a simple orc with a simple life. He has his dragons, his music, and his friends, and that’s mostly enough. Sometimes though, he gets lonely and wishes there was someone he could share his interests with—maybe even someone he could hold hands with, although he knows it’s not likely that there’s a special person out there for someone who’s seven feet tall and green to boot. So it’s a delightful surprise when Simon Perrin, the new kitchen boy, not only knows all about dragons, but seems to like Dave as much as Dave likes him back. But all is not what it seems, and Simon is hiding a dark secret. There are sinister forces at work, and Simon needs to find a way out of the situation he’s trapped in. If he doesn’t, it could mean disaster for the entire kingdom of Aguillon, and an even more terrible fate for Pie, Dave’s beloved fingerdragon. When Dave discovers Simon and Pie are in danger, he’s swept up in a rescue mission that spans an ocean, tests a friendship, and has more dragons that you could poke a lute at. It’s going to be a wild ride—literally. |
I can’t say it enough, it’s a fabulous story, entertaining to the extreme, funny and emotional, the plot was fascinating with extraordinary characters. Super enjoyable and uplifting!
- Love Bytes Reviews
- Love Bytes Reviews
An excerpt from Socially Orcward:
Dave was very happy to have met someone who loved dragons as much as he did. Simon didn’t just love dragons, he knew stuff about them too. He knew that it was important for an Ebony Oriental egg to maintain a constant temperature, he knew that Malafrankian Feathered Wyverns weren’t technically from Malafrankia, and, most importantly, he knew that Petal was a girl, and that she was beautiful. Not many people knew that, even the smart ones.
And when Simon visited, which he did several times a day whether he was bringing kitchen scraps or not, he didn’t act like Dave wasn’t clever, the way some people did just because he was an orc. No, when Simon came up to Dave’s tower he listened to his stories and asked questions, and he loved Pie, and wanted to know all about him and where Dave had got him from and if there were any more. He’d seemed almost disappointed when Dave had confessed that he’d bought Pie’s egg off a stranger in a pub along with two others, but that Pyromaneous the First and Second had flown to their freedom and Dave had no idea what had happened to them.
Dave kept his windows closed now, especially since it was getting close to hatching time for Inky the Ebony Oriental. Not that he would keep Inky unless it wanted to stay, but baby dragons were fragile and a little bit stupid when they first hatched, and he wanted to make sure that if it did fly out the window one day then at least it would be big enough to look after itself.
He’d told Simon that, and Simon had ducked his head and smiled, his scruffy hair falling into his eyes. The smile had been a little bit sad though, and Dave wasn’t sure why that was. But before he could ask, Simon had declared it was time to feed Petal her potato peels.
It made Dave feel all warm and toasty inside to have a friend who loved dragons as much as he did. When Dave had first started up his hatchery, Quinn had given him a book by Doctor Kettering, and the pictures were very good, but there were a lot of long words in it. He wondered if Simon would like to borrow it, and then maybe he could tell Dave all the important stuff. Doctor Kettering was a dragon expert. Dave was a dragon expert too, but not the sort that wrote books. He had written a ballad though, and he wondered if Simon would like to hear it. Dave thought it might make Simon smile, and Dave wanted to make Simon smile, for reasons he couldn’t quite explain even to himself.
Loth seemed to think he knew the reason.
“I heard a rumour that the new kitchen boy’s been spending a lot of time in your tower,” he said one morning a few days later as they walked around the palace gardens.
Dave held Bobo up toward the sunlight, trying to get him to extend his wings. Bobo glared at him. “Simon, yeah.”
“I’ve been told he’s very attractive,” Loth said, and made his eyebrows wiggle like two jousting caterpillars. “Gold hair like silk, green eyes like sea glass, and an arse you could pound like bread dough.”
“Why would I want to pound Simon’s arse?” Dave asked, his brow furrowing. “He’s my friend. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
Loth sighed.
“Oh,” Dave said at last, carefully unhooking Bobo’s claws from around his wrist. “You think I should like him the way you like Quinn—that I should think he’s attractive.”
“Don’t you?”
Dave thought about that for a moment and then shrugged. “I don’t know. He just looks like a human.”
He’d certainly never thought that Simon had hair like gold silk. Simon’s hair was kind of dark blond and messy, and sometimes clumped up like a dirty mop because he’d slept on it weird. And his eyes weren’t green like sea glass, whatever that was. They were green like green eyes were green. And why would Loth say that Simon had an arse like dough? That wasn’t very nice. Dough was sticky and you sometimes got your fingers stuck in it and they wouldn’t come out, and Dave didn’t think that sounded like something you wanted to happen with an arse. When he thought about it, Dave did agree that Simon had a nice shaped bum—Dave just didn’t want to pound it.
“I dunno if he’s attractive, but he likes dragons,” Dave said at last, and beamed.
Dave was very happy to have met someone who loved dragons as much as he did. Simon didn’t just love dragons, he knew stuff about them too. He knew that it was important for an Ebony Oriental egg to maintain a constant temperature, he knew that Malafrankian Feathered Wyverns weren’t technically from Malafrankia, and, most importantly, he knew that Petal was a girl, and that she was beautiful. Not many people knew that, even the smart ones.
And when Simon visited, which he did several times a day whether he was bringing kitchen scraps or not, he didn’t act like Dave wasn’t clever, the way some people did just because he was an orc. No, when Simon came up to Dave’s tower he listened to his stories and asked questions, and he loved Pie, and wanted to know all about him and where Dave had got him from and if there were any more. He’d seemed almost disappointed when Dave had confessed that he’d bought Pie’s egg off a stranger in a pub along with two others, but that Pyromaneous the First and Second had flown to their freedom and Dave had no idea what had happened to them.
Dave kept his windows closed now, especially since it was getting close to hatching time for Inky the Ebony Oriental. Not that he would keep Inky unless it wanted to stay, but baby dragons were fragile and a little bit stupid when they first hatched, and he wanted to make sure that if it did fly out the window one day then at least it would be big enough to look after itself.
He’d told Simon that, and Simon had ducked his head and smiled, his scruffy hair falling into his eyes. The smile had been a little bit sad though, and Dave wasn’t sure why that was. But before he could ask, Simon had declared it was time to feed Petal her potato peels.
It made Dave feel all warm and toasty inside to have a friend who loved dragons as much as he did. When Dave had first started up his hatchery, Quinn had given him a book by Doctor Kettering, and the pictures were very good, but there were a lot of long words in it. He wondered if Simon would like to borrow it, and then maybe he could tell Dave all the important stuff. Doctor Kettering was a dragon expert. Dave was a dragon expert too, but not the sort that wrote books. He had written a ballad though, and he wondered if Simon would like to hear it. Dave thought it might make Simon smile, and Dave wanted to make Simon smile, for reasons he couldn’t quite explain even to himself.
Loth seemed to think he knew the reason.
“I heard a rumour that the new kitchen boy’s been spending a lot of time in your tower,” he said one morning a few days later as they walked around the palace gardens.
Dave held Bobo up toward the sunlight, trying to get him to extend his wings. Bobo glared at him. “Simon, yeah.”
“I’ve been told he’s very attractive,” Loth said, and made his eyebrows wiggle like two jousting caterpillars. “Gold hair like silk, green eyes like sea glass, and an arse you could pound like bread dough.”
“Why would I want to pound Simon’s arse?” Dave asked, his brow furrowing. “He’s my friend. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
Loth sighed.
“Oh,” Dave said at last, carefully unhooking Bobo’s claws from around his wrist. “You think I should like him the way you like Quinn—that I should think he’s attractive.”
“Don’t you?”
Dave thought about that for a moment and then shrugged. “I don’t know. He just looks like a human.”
He’d certainly never thought that Simon had hair like gold silk. Simon’s hair was kind of dark blond and messy, and sometimes clumped up like a dirty mop because he’d slept on it weird. And his eyes weren’t green like sea glass, whatever that was. They were green like green eyes were green. And why would Loth say that Simon had an arse like dough? That wasn’t very nice. Dough was sticky and you sometimes got your fingers stuck in it and they wouldn’t come out, and Dave didn’t think that sounded like something you wanted to happen with an arse. When he thought about it, Dave did agree that Simon had a nice shaped bum—Dave just didn’t want to pound it.
“I dunno if he’s attractive, but he likes dragons,” Dave said at last, and beamed.